[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] really bad dude named Orcus. And he shows up and starts taking all the gods out of the realm.
[38.1s] Is that Mademar? Oh! Oh! Oh shit! Oh no! Oh! Okay. He goes and stands out over
[46.8s] over the scene, which he hadn't really gone and looked at. Everybody else did,
[50.9s] and he sees like this this roiling blackness coming up the hill. Um...
[56.4s] Dots? I think we waited too long. Oh my god.
[66.6s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master Russ More. He,
[70.2s] him, also with me today is Kristen Flammons. She, her. Playing Gath. She, her. So exciting
[77.8s] and unexpected and surprised. I love that. This look of sheer terror.
[83.2s] One of us. Didn't even have peanut butter in my mouth this time.
[88.7s] That's how I knew you were ready. Come on now. Also with me today is Tom Laird.
[93.8s] Yeah, that's me. I am also he, him. Nope. Wait. He, him. And I'm playing Moot,
[99.6s] who is also he, him. Got one half step ahead of myself.
[103.0s] There was an also in there. It's all thrown off now. Amy More.
[107.8s] Yes, she, her, and I will be playing Sullivan Slyte. He, him. And Karla Maxted.
[114.4s] She, her, playing Glim, also she, her. See, we got back on her course by the end
[119.5s] there. Couple panics and then he's back into it. What do we do on Patreon?
[126.2s] Well, that's where you don't have to pan. That's true.
[131.4s] You can hang out with us at various levels. There's like a hangout or a producer chat
[136.7s] where you come and talk about D&D or podcasts or technology or just like random bullshit.
[141.8s] Maybe not too long ago, we have like live shows, live streams, and you get to come and like,
[148.0s] ah, you know, participate in that. Give us some fun suggestions. There's a book club.
[154.8s] And I picked a book. Who else is there? Oh,
[157.5s] there's a whole other like podcast where we play D&D. There's that.
[163.1s] There's Dumptions Downtimes every Saturday where we talk about the episode we just
[167.8s] like released earlier that week. That's true.
[171.3s] Kristin, unobjectively, do we do too much for our patrons?
[177.0s] It seems like a pretty slick deal, personally. There we go. You heard it right from Kristin,
[186.6s] who is a regular cast member as well and will start to show up to all of these things
[190.8s] and more. No, no pressure on that. But also when you're a patron, you get an episode dedicated
[197.0s] to you like today's patron, Charlie Wharley. Thank you so much.
[204.7s] There's also a discord. That's great. You don't have to be a patron to be in that, but
[209.0s] but there's also a book club too, which is also great. You don't have to be a patron to
[212.9s] be that. No, you have to be a patron. Yes, you do have to be a patron to do that.
[216.2s] Yeah. I take it back. Yeah, just you dangled and then it was gone.
[220.4s] And it was gone. So quick. Just took it away.
[222.0s] But know that there is a book club and it's been great so far.
[226.3s] And we'd love for you to come join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[230.4s] So many things that happen over there, but really our eternal love and gratitude is
[234.2s] is number one. Absolutely. And specifically this episode to Charlie, because I don't feel like
[239.6s] we said it enough. We didn't really get like enough like whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop
[243.4s] about, you know, about Charlie. Who's awesome about Charlie Warley specifically.
[250.2s] So you to bomb and now let's fuck it. Wait, no, that's it. That's our saying.
[256.9s] Yes, let's fuck it. This is how we're.
[267.5s] Let's start this. I'm playing flammie kids tonight.
[276.9s] Well, let's fuck it. Let's play. OK, I was going to be like, I'm doing Russ's thing.
[283.6s] And then you've got to handle the responsibility ever one of.
[288.4s] Yeah, no, you set the bar too high. Yeah. Thank you for doing that.
[297.1s] Screams, explosions, blood, guts.
[301.8s] And the smell that we described in this episode. It's so bad here.
[307.7s] It's hair. And why is it burning? Yeah, fish, all the fish. Yeah, it's it's very fish.
[317.4s] All of this is mayhem is climbing up Mount Celestia and it's being met by the pAlydins
[323.7s] and clerics who Bahamut who wasn't in like just in the mindset to really take in any
[330.6s] of this information and therefore was a real wiener, as was pointed out in the downtime.
[336.1s] Another patron thing you can go get if we didn't mention it already.
[341.1s] And we see Bahamut looking down at all of this as the group of you is
[348.5s] readying yourselves, preparing yourselves for making a move, for hopping on the back of a dragon,
[354.6s] for blinking and pretending to be somewhere else. You know, any way you want to present
[359.4s] teleportation as a means, you can close your eyes and take a step and then you've teleported.
[365.3s] We hear just like this inner monologue of Bahamut. Bahamut's log.
[371.1s] Uh, I don't know what day it is. I had a bit to drink before these folks showed up.
[378.6s] I was sleeping it off and they said that the world was going to end and I
[383.1s] I mean, you dime a dozen, you hear the world's going to end.
[387.0s] So I took them down to the bar, you know, just ease them up. You know,
[390.2s] sometimes it just takes a few and then maybe they just remember that they're in the really
[396.0s] cool kids club and that it's all going to be OK. But then they started presenting some
[400.6s] interesting facts that could not be true because they were from the future.
[405.0s] So they're not true for like the time that we're in now, but they're true for future sense.
[411.0s] And it all led and culminated to me taking them on a museum tour,
[415.8s] which I really thought was, you know, kind of the highlight.
[420.5s] All those items that they got, they look real cool, but I don't think they're going to help
[425.8s] them in any way. I'm not going to tell them that specifically and just going to just going
[431.7s] to let them just revel in the moment of having something of Bahamuts that's that's now in their
[436.6s] possession. They could take it. They could, you know, use it. They could sell it. Maybe it
[441.6s] actually does something really cool. I don't know. I forgot to ask. It's had a real kind
[446.0s] of vibe. But then Glim, one of my favorites Glim, a destiny to save the world. Destiny to
[452.4s] save the world. Oh, shit. Well, I guess that one's me. Egg on my face.
[463.4s] All right. Guess we're going to have to deal with this now. Captain's log out.
[471.5s] He's been standing there completely silent. We've been talking to him. Nothing.
[476.6s] I think he's in a coma, like waving my hand in front of his eyes.
[485.1s] Can they kidnap his mind without his body? Oh, oh, that's pretty dangerous.
[494.5s] Well, they did. I mean, if you're a zombie, is that not like kidnapping your mind and leave,
[500.8s] you know, your body's being taken over? They can do that.
[504.7s] Well, you think he's a zombie now? I don't think so. No, he doesn't look like it's not.
[509.0s] It's not got a lot of things falling off like zombies do. Yeah, it doesn't really
[513.3s] doesn't smell undead. There's only one way to see. And I want to wind up and
[518.0s] slap him on the face. I will have to hop. I do believe. Okay.
[522.5s] Hop, slap. Get on Rex's back. Good old hop, slap. You can get on Rex.
[526.0s] And then I just keep riding. Ride by slapping.
[533.8s] I'm just snapping him out of it. I'm not trying to hurt him.
[539.0s] It's like a cool breeze. All right, we got to do something here, everybody.
[544.2s] I don't know why we've been sitting around talking so much. We've got to get up and get
[548.0s] going. Okay. Yeah, I mean, you're definitely right, but we okay. Turn into a dragon.
[554.4s] Fly us out of here. Okay. Yeah, done.
[560.3s] He sneezes and it turns into a dragon. Oh, God, that seems like
[567.0s] that seems like a really awkward thing to happen every time you sneeze.
[571.1s] Did I not do that in the future? I don't know. We met you when you were
[575.8s] comatose and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So where are we going? Hop on.
[582.3s] Question. Can he just like carry Rex and his dragon hands?
[586.5s] He takes the net that you were carrying Matamar in.
[589.3s] Nope. This is the episode now. Oh, God, not again.
[593.8s] Yeah. He takes the net that you were carrying Matamar in and wraps it around
[596.7s] Rex and is carrying it in like two of his dragon feet. And so you've got a horse
[602.0s] dangling below a dragon. Great. Yes. And okay, good. That's what we're doing.
[607.0s] Everybody climbs on the back of Bahamut. Does this include Matamar?
[613.8s] I don't want to stay here. Fair enough. Come on.
[617.0s] Okay. I'm coming too. Matamar also hops on.
[622.9s] Dragon takes off below you. You see skeletons and zombies all clamoring up the hill.
[630.5s] You see this purple, blackish, like ribboning aura that's cracking up and out of the stone
[638.1s] of the mountain. Flying up out of it are these like dripping like ichor-ridden black dragons,
[648.1s] multiple of them. They emerge from the ground, climbing up with their claws and their wings,
[654.8s] and they burst up into the air and are now flying quickly towards you.
[661.0s] That seems bad. All right, everybody.
[663.9s] We got to get Bahamut to a safe place. Looks like those dragons are going to try
[667.8s] and bring us down. All right. I'm going to go take care of the lead one.
[671.7s] Flamikins hops off and down towards the dragon, lands on top of its head. That was an
[678.7s] 18 on the dive and releases this chaos bolt into the head of this dragon. That is lightning
[689.1s] that shoots out of her hands and into it for 25 lightning damage into its skull.
[697.9s] You see the skeleton of it light up as she releases it in there, and it drops down into
[704.3s] the sky, still flying, trying to now bat her off as she's holding on.
[709.3s] How close is the closest dragon? They're flying up from beneath you.
[716.9s] Probably closest one Flamikins would have landed on would have been about 30 feet,
[720.9s] so the next one is probably like 40, 45 feet. Like a drop, though, not like out.
[729.9s] Yeah, OK, I'm going to take this spear from Bahamut that seems like maybe a piece of garbage,
[738.5s] but we'll see. I'm just going to chuck it down at the dragon below us. Screw it.
[745.0s] All right, make a ranged attack, please.
[750.7s] With advantage, because you're in an aura of Bahamut.
[755.3s] Nice. He is good for something. 27.
[761.2s] Find an actual random cool spear that this could be because he doesn't know what it does.
[768.5s] Yeah, in hindsight, he was not a good docent at the museum.
[771.7s] No, he really wasn't. Roll a D8 and we'll see which one this is.
[777.8s] You got it.
[779.0s] If it's a one, we reroll.
[780.9s] It's a seven.
[781.8s] You have the Spear of Bahamut, so it'd be D6 plus three plus two D8.
[789.4s] So 13.
[791.2s] The spear hits and like this glowing light emits from its back and the dragon lets out this
[797.1s] shriek as you see Ichor like bubbling up from inside of it.
[801.4s] It is loosely hanging onto the back as it takes a few big wing pumps.
[807.6s] What do you want to call those? What do we call those wing?
[809.9s] Flaps?
[810.6s] Flaps.
[811.0s] Beats?
[811.4s] Beats. Thank you. Either of those better than wing pumps.
[815.8s] That's what they do when they did something really cool with each other.
[819.0s] They wing pump.
[819.6s] Yeah, wing pumps. Either that or it pumps air into them, much like the sneakers of the 90s.
[825.6s] Seeing that the spear is cool,
[829.8s] Agath is going to follow Flamekin's lead and just jump down to get it.
[833.2s] And then if she gets there, just smack it two more times with her other attack actions.
[837.2s] Okay. Love it.
[839.1s] Roll athletics or acrobatics with advantage while you remain in Bahamut's aura.
[847.4s] Oh, that's definitely going to be an athletics roll.
[850.4s] 19.
[851.8s] Throw it. You see the light and you leap off behind it.
[855.9s] Nobody's stopping anybody else from leaping off at any point.
[858.7s] No, still good.
[859.7s] Okay. You fly.
[861.0s] You're going to stop her from doing what she wants to do.
[863.7s] People can do what they want.
[864.8s] That's right.
[865.3s] Soar down and almost like you have a wingsuit.
[868.0s] You soar down and land on top and you grab hold of the spear,
[871.8s] which anchors you as you kind of slip just a fraction of an amount.
[876.2s] Can I actually try for my second attack
[878.2s] to just like land grabbing the spear hard enough that it's like sinking in even deeper?
[882.2s] Bah, I love it.
[883.8s] Sure. Yeah, absolutely.
[885.4s] Yeah, we've already said you've grabbed it.
[886.8s] So just the force that you're driving it in, just give me damage.
[890.8s] 12. 12 more.
[893.0s] Can Rex just like poop on that one underneath?
[895.7s] I mean, I don't mean to be gross,
[897.0s] but he probably can't really help us fight right now.
[899.0s] And he has a breath weapon if it gets close enough.
[902.1s] Right. Well, I guess that's better.
[906.8s] It just squeezes it every once in a while and it's just like poop bombs.
[911.4s] And I'll do a third, like rip it out and slam it down again.
[915.3s] It's a 16.
[916.6s] All good. Give me some damage.
[918.4s] 18 plus 3. 21.
[922.0s] Yeah, this dragon that you've landed on is letting out like this gargling,
[945.1s] hideous call as it loses altitude.
[948.9s] And you begin dipping down closer to this like purplish cloud below you.
[956.0s] It's just going to rip the spear.
[957.9s] I'll keep this.
[959.2s] It is pretty cool.
[961.8s] Moot.
[963.4s] OK, let me just have a quick little peek at my spells list.
[967.5s] Yeah, I'll cast lightning bolt for us.
[970.3s] 100 feet long, five feet wide stroke of lightning blasts out.
[975.5s] Creatures must make a deck saving throw.
[979.3s] If I can target more than one, I will.
[980.7s] But if not, I'll just target one.
[982.6s] Sorry, what was the range on it?
[983.9s] A hundred feet long, five feet wide.
[986.9s] Yeah, we can say you can get a couple of them.
[990.0s] There are now four dragons, flamingons on one,
[995.0s] a goth on the other and two more coming up that we can say that you can hit there.
[999.4s] Dexterity saving throw.
[1000.5s] That's me.
[1001.8s] Three on the die and 16.
[1006.0s] They both fail.
[1007.8s] OK.
[1008.7s] All right.
[1009.1s] So you are going to take 8d6 lightning damage.
[1014.8s] Well, Moot's rolling those.
[1016.2s] Can I say I realize I have unwavering mark.
[1018.7s] Can I have marked this nasty dragon so it has disadvantage on attacks?
[1023.5s] That's not me.
[1024.8s] On the one that you hit?
[1025.8s] Yeah.
[1026.4s] Yeah.
[1026.8s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1027.4s] OK, that's my dragon now.
[1029.9s] OK, so yeah, if it doesn't, if it tries to attack somebody else, it's got disadvantage.
[1033.1s] OK, a nine and 11 and a seven.
[1036.6s] So 27.
[1038.1s] 27 lightning damage to both of them.
[1041.0s] That lightning calls down from the sky and rips through both of these.
[1045.3s] Huge tears come into their wings as they as they drop down about 20 feet each.
[1051.2s] Errol the 15 on my wild magic table.
[1053.4s] Thank you.
[1055.2s] The one that flamingons is on his turn, it's going to with its fly movement of 80 feet,
[1064.3s] try and fly up and ram into Bahamut.
[1071.1s] And it's going to miss.
[1074.9s] But everybody else must make a dexterity saving throw as it beats its wings moving past him.
[1082.6s] 50.
[1083.9s] 18.
[1085.0s] Is that also us not on Bahamut?
[1087.2s] No, no, you're fine.
[1089.0s] And flamingons is fine.
[1090.6s] 11 for Matamar.
[1092.8s] So everybody who is on Bahamut is going to take 15 bludgeoning damage and be knocked prone,
[1102.3s] which is not great because you're on the back of a flying dragon.
[1109.2s] I feel like we weren't standing to be better to begin with.
[1113.2s] Could be.
[1114.1s] Likely we're not standing.
[1116.0s] Yeah, fair enough.
[1117.7s] OK, it's the one that a goths.
[1122.3s] Wait, is this my dragon that's doing this?
[1125.3s] That was flamingons dragon.
[1126.6s] Now it's now it's your dragon and it hit you with its tail.
[1132.0s] It's going to try 28, 33.
[1138.1s] Oh, my God.
[1139.4s] That's a big number.
[1140.3s] I guess.
[1142.3s] But like barely.
[1143.8s] Yeah.
[1144.8s] So 17 bludgeoning damage and a dexterity saving throw.
[1151.0s] A cut, a cut.
[1153.2s] It's not good.
[1155.7s] Oh, that'd be that'd be a whole five.
[1158.0s] So you get like hit hard with this tail and you soar off of this dragon's back.
[1166.3s] You are now free falling towards just just the purple cloud.
[1171.1s] I don't know what's below that.
[1174.2s] That was 17 bludgeoning damage.
[1175.8s] 17 bludgeoning damage.
[1177.2s] Yeah, not much.
[1179.6s] Seen as it's played.
[1180.7s] Dragon that flamingons is on comes up and tries to hit Bahamut veers,
[1185.1s] but there's a wing blast and kind of knocks you all prone.
[1189.5s] You're kind of laying on it, sitting on its back.
[1191.9s] Anyways, that's fine.
[1194.1s] You see over the edge that a goth is like tennis balled off of the back of a dragon
[1201.1s] is now free falling down towards the earth below.
[1205.6s] What do you do?
[1207.2s] I think that.
[1209.5s] Unfortunately, I can do I think nothing to help a goth right now.
[1215.7s] But that one that just hit Bahamut, how far away would you say it is from us now?
[1222.1s] Fly speed of 80.
[1224.1s] So it's probably like 30 feet above.
[1227.5s] Perfect.
[1228.3s] That's exactly the number I wanted you to say.
[1231.4s] Because that's how far my fire breath.
[1233.2s] I mean, 35, right?
[1236.1s] 30.1 damage.
[1240.7s] So I am a dex save.
[1244.3s] With disadvantage because I'm going to say I can't see you.
[1247.2s] That's a 14.
[1250.9s] Great.
[1251.5s] So it's going to take 5d6 fire damage, which was a bad rolls.
[1260.3s] 13 fire damage from that.
[1263.7s] And then I think, yeah, I guess I'll just maybe throw my javelin.
[1268.8s] Who even remembered I have it?
[1270.2s] I don't use it.
[1271.1s] So let's let's give that a shot at that same one.
[1276.3s] No, it's right.
[1277.2s] No, sure.
[1278.2s] I'm a real athlete.
[1279.2s] I'll throw it straight up above.
[1281.1s] It's fine.
[1282.4s] That way you could catch it when it's falling back down.
[1284.8s] That's right.
[1285.5s] That's right.
[1286.7s] That's a 25.
[1288.4s] That hits.
[1289.3s] So that is going to that's 13 piercing damage plus 8 radiant damage.
[1301.8s] Glenn, don't kill it.
[1302.7s] Kill it.
[1303.0s] It'll crush us.
[1304.2s] Does my javelin stab it and fall back down?
[1307.2s] I think it's I think that that damage it embeds into.
[1312.6s] Yeah.
[1313.4s] So yeah, you hit like the underbelly of it and it's stuck in stuck in down there.
[1320.3s] Sully.
[1322.6s] A goth falling flamicons up high.
[1325.2s] Glim huffing stuff up into the air just lobbing it and connecting.
[1330.0s] Ikker dripping back down.
[1332.7s] Two more dragons lightning hit from the bottom.
[1335.9s] I am not equipped to fight in this type of situation.
[1341.1s] Fly, you fool.
[1343.1s] I can't.
[1344.5s] What he is going to do though while he is laying prone
[1347.9s] is he is going to scratch like he's going to get out his tattoo absorbing tattoo needle
[1357.5s] and scratch a crude picture.
[1362.9s] Looks a little like a dick, just not meant to just, you know,
[1366.9s] it's on the back of a moving dragon.
[1369.1s] You have to roll a D10 that's going to determine the color
[1373.1s] and what that gives me defense against
[1376.4s] or damage resistance against.
[1379.4s] Seven.
[1380.3s] Against poison damage.
[1382.1s] Neat.
[1382.6s] Okay.
[1382.8s] Well, then I can't be poisoned.
[1384.7s] And unless I want to start stabbing at Bob and the dragon that I'm on.
[1394.7s] I mean, two people have jumped off so far.
[1398.1s] It's going great.
[1400.8s] 50-50 right now on your.
[1403.9s] If only I was a monk right now, I would level 20.
[1407.9s] I'd just be flying.
[1409.1s] Just do whatever I want.
[1411.4s] I mean, I don't want to wait.
[1416.1s] Does that count as my action though?
[1417.5s] I think it does pretty sure that's okay.
[1419.9s] Then then he will consider it for the next time,
[1422.3s] but at least now he can't be poisoned.
[1426.0s] I mean, there is some Icar dripping.
[1428.8s] Maybe that purple stuff is poisonous.
[1431.8s] I don't know.
[1432.0s] Black dragons are known for their poison.
[1433.9s] So, you know.
[1434.6s] Are they?
[1436.2s] I think it's acid.
[1437.2s] Which is really just like really poisonous poison.
[1439.5s] I mean, yeah.
[1440.3s] Okay.
[1440.6s] High rolls.
[1442.3s] Matamar can do something.
[1445.1s] Okay.
[1446.6s] Matamar, who was on the back of Bahama,
[1449.4s] like almost like blown off by the wings,
[1453.4s] looks down and sees a goth.
[1455.2s] It's like, I got this.
[1458.1s] And he leaps off.
[1459.4s] No, no.
[1460.3s] Oh, Matamar.
[1461.3s] Oh, buddy.
[1461.9s] And the skin between his arms and his legs like spreads out
[1469.8s] and he begins soaring down towards a goth
[1473.5s] with wings that extend out.
[1477.7s] And he's moving faster than a goth.
[1479.4s] He's not going to make it there this turn.
[1480.7s] So he's going to be able to catch you probably
[1483.1s] on the next turn unless something stops you.
[1486.0s] Okay.
[1486.5s] Like the ground.
[1490.8s] Exactly.
[1491.4s] How did you worry about that when you worry about that?
[1494.0s] I think it's Bahama's turn.
[1495.9s] What do you want Bahama to do?
[1497.2s] He really is.
[1497.8s] He's this.
[1499.8s] He can't make his own decisions to this extent.
[1502.5s] Yeah.
[1502.9s] He's this helpless.
[1503.9s] Okay.
[1504.3s] Okay.
[1504.9s] Bahama, fucking do something.
[1506.6s] Like, I don't know, like bite one of the other dragons
[1509.5s] or like, do you have a court breast?
[1510.7s] Or go get a goth.
[1511.7s] Like, yeah, save her.
[1513.5s] She's fallen.
[1514.2s] And then now we know we got that guy going down down.
[1516.7s] He sends himself into a dive, says, hold on,
[1522.8s] and is spiraling down towards a goth.
[1526.9s] He passes Matamar who gets scooped up on his back
[1530.8s] and makes it to a goth.
[1532.3s] A goth make an athletics check to see if you can grapple.
[1537.1s] Usually pretty good at those.
[1539.7s] I just need a new dice.
[1541.6s] Again, with advantage because Bahama's back in your range.
[1544.6s] Okay, cool.
[1546.4s] 26.
[1548.4s] You are in this free fall and Bahama catches up to you
[1552.7s] and you grab onto like this fin on his back.
[1556.3s] You're now on the back of Bahama again.
[1559.1s] And as he feels you grab him,
[1560.7s] he releases out of this spiral and shoots up
[1563.9s] towards the dragons.
[1565.5s] He's beneath them and releases a lightning breath
[1568.7s] up and through three of them.
[1571.5s] They're going to make a deck save.
[1573.3s] One is going to save, the others are not,
[1576.4s] and they are going to take 108 damage.
[1582.7s] It is good having a god dragon on your side
[1586.1s] when he like does something.
[1587.6s] Yeah, exactly.
[1588.9s] I mean, maybe he roasts some meat we need to, but.
[1592.3s] We're back to Flamikins.
[1593.9s] She's still on the back of this one
[1595.9s] and is going to release another chaos bolt
[1598.7s] into the head of this dragon.
[1600.6s] It's going to be force damage.
[1603.5s] So you see like this pulse that echoes out
[1606.7s] up high in the sky and this,
[1609.9s] the dragon that she's on the back of,
[1611.6s] you see just stop, its wings stop flapping
[1614.5s] and it begins to free fall upside down
[1617.1s] and you just hear this.
[1618.5s] Ah, as it catches its wing and throws itself back over
[1625.5s] into a glide back out.
[1627.9s] It's another middle and the dog rings the bell.
[1631.7s] That's how we know it's the middle.
[1633.2s] That's how we know that it's time to start the middle.
[1635.7s] That how we know Amy's not going to be
[1637.4s] in this middle anymore.
[1638.2s] Goodbye.
[1639.7s] Goodbye, Amy.
[1640.8s] Goodbye, Amy.
[1642.6s] And Amy is leaving.
[1643.8s] Okay, Amy's gone.
[1645.5s] We didn't say goodbye, we're leaving.
[1647.7s] We didn't say goodbye, Amy.
[1648.7s] Well, I can't say goodbye.
[1650.1s] It was a little bit strange to see.
[1652.1s] But we're not going to fight,
[1653.4s] because we're going to save our lives.
[1655.1s] It is so scary.
[1656.3s] We talked the last time, which I want to say was last week, so it probably was, because
[1663.2s] that's how we release episodes is weekly, where we reached a goal and we hit 100 patrons
[1668.3s] and we did a live show and it was amazing.
[1670.3s] It was so fun.
[1671.6s] But what happened when we did that is we ran out of goals.
[1675.1s] Right.
[1676.1s] And you can't live life without goals.
[1678.2s] No, we always need something to work towards.
[1681.1s] Happiness is setting and achieving attainable goals.
[1684.5s] Exactly.
[1685.5s] So what we did was we collectively sat down and we're like, what are great things that
[1689.6s] we could put up there?
[1690.9s] And then Amy, Carla and I stared at each other blankly for a while.
[1694.7s] And then Tom piped in with some really great ideas.
[1697.5s] It wasn't even that we stared blankly at each other.
[1699.6s] It's like that we spewed just a ton of nonsense, just nonsense, nonsense, nonsense.
[1704.1s] And then Tom would just dip in and be like, hey, what about this fantastic idea?
[1709.0s] So Tom.
[1710.0s] Then I would drop my mic and I would disappear back into the shadows.
[1715.3s] Like Homer into the shrub.
[1718.5s] Great idea.
[1719.5s] See you later.
[1720.5s] Yup, I'm out.
[1721.5s] So we've set a few goals over there.
[1722.5s] The next one, when we reach a community goal of one hundred and fifteen patrons,
[1726.7s] we will release four patrons in character positive affirmations.
[1731.9s] Oh yeah, I forgot.
[1733.6s] This is a good one.
[1734.6s] So yeah, if you need a little pick me up, maybe Flamikins will be telling you
[1738.2s] how great you are in no time.
[1740.1s] Maybe.
[1741.1s] I would tell you how great you are, but I have to save it for the goal.
[1745.1s] So we'll release those as bonus audio for our patrons and maybe as tick tock content
[1749.1s] because people keep asking us about all that tick tock content.
[1752.5s] And it seems like a good fit.
[1754.6s] People or person?
[1755.9s] I'm not trying to point fingers, Tom.
[1759.0s] He's the shush.
[1760.4s] Many people. It's Paisley.
[1761.9s] Many people. It's Paisley.
[1763.6s] She's saying Paisley wants more talk that changes everything.
[1767.6s] That's what she's screaming about right now.
[1768.9s] So 115 patrons will start releasing in character positive affirmations
[1773.5s] and then 125 improv live show again, because everybody loves them and we love them.
[1780.3s] And then at 150, we're going to bring back something that we had for a while.
[1784.4s] And then we turned it into a new show called Facing Fate, which is monthly
[1789.1s] one shots and in small arcs will be coming back to our Patreon feed
[1794.7s] where we play different games and play different characters in different worlds
[1797.7s] and all that sort of thing.
[1799.4s] And it won't just be for Facing Fate or Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[1802.3s] It'll be its own thing that will probably turn into another podcast.
[1806.9s] If you wanted to kind of prognosticate two years into the future,
[1811.1s] this will probably be just a whole nother podcast we have.
[1814.3s] But for now, in addition to like regular feed, Dungeons
[1821.0s] and then Patreon feed, Tom show.
[1823.8s] This will be Patreon feed, whole other thing.
[1827.0s] Whole other thing.
[1828.8s] So you can help us get there.
[1830.5s] That's a ways out.
[1831.5s] We've got little baby goals in between, and they're going to be lots of fun.
[1834.8s] Like those positive affirmations.
[1837.2s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[1839.2s] Come join us.
[1841.0s] Join the club.
[1842.3s] One of us, one of us, one of us.
[1846.8s] I really look forward to seeing who can determine whether it's Flint
[1851.1s] reading the affirmation or Tallgear.
[1853.9s] There's subtle differences.
[1855.3s] I've played them both side by side.
[1857.0s] There is a variation.
[1859.3s] It's so subtle, though.
[1861.2s] Our listeners will be able to listen if they're in the same content will make sense.
[1866.5s] Exactly.
[1867.1s] OK, listen to the rest of the episode that you're listening to right now.
[1870.3s] Thanks, friends.
[1871.7s] Bye.
[1872.6s] OK, I love you.
[1877.3s] A goth, you're on the back of Bahamut.
[1879.5s] What do you want to do?
[1880.9s] There's three above you that were blasted.
[1883.2s] They have dropped back down towards you.
[1886.9s] So all are within most 30 feet from you.
[1890.1s] So it's all getting pretty cramped in this airspace that you're swarming around.
[1894.9s] Well, maybe I will fire off some crossbow bolts.
[1898.8s] Why not have a ranged weapon?
[1901.6s] Yeah, let's do it.
[1903.4s] Is it at advantage with Bahamut's aura?
[1907.3s] Sweet.
[1908.2s] Twenty seven to hit.
[1909.7s] Yeah.
[1910.6s] On the first one for I think it's just a regular old crossbow.
[1916.3s] So that's an eight damage on that.
[1919.5s] Oh, 19 plus seven.
[1923.7s] Yeah, is.
[1924.9s] Yeah.
[1925.6s] Another eight damage.
[1927.2s] And then last one.
[1929.1s] Shooting the same one each time.
[1931.0s] Dirty 20.
[1931.7s] Yeah, there's like this is not big damage.
[1933.7s] So let's just punch it into the eight plus one.
[1938.6s] So nine damage on that one.
[1940.5s] Agath does not like the crossbow.
[1943.7s] It feels small and puny and unsatisfying in her hands.
[1947.6s] But that's what you got.
[1949.6s] You know, I can't fly.
[1950.9s] What you got to do.
[1952.4s] I can't.
[1953.0s] You tried, though.
[1954.1s] I tried.
[1955.2s] You tried.
[1955.9s] Didn't go great.
[1957.7s] Could have gone worse, but love it.
[1959.9s] Oh, are any of them in Brax's like breathing distance?
[1963.7s] Oh, yeah.
[1964.7s] Yeah, absolutely.
[1965.7s] Yeah.
[1966.0s] OK, cool.
[1967.0s] When he gets a moment, when one like swings by,
[1970.4s] he will belch a horrible, horrible horse breath at them.
[1975.7s] Let's say one of them passes beneath and he
[1978.4s] takes an opportunity.
[1979.8s] Constitution saving throw?
[1981.9s] Plus 14.
[1983.4s] It's a 21, 21.
[1985.5s] Oh, yeah, that hits.
[1986.6s] So it's going to be half of 66.
[1988.4s] OK.
[1988.9s] 24, half of 24, 12.
[1991.1s] Horse makes better hits than me.
[1993.8s] 12 poison damage, which probably
[1995.5s] isn't going to do nothing to them
[1996.7s] because they're black dragons.
[1997.9s] No, wait.
[1998.4s] We already established that that's not poison.
[2001.0s] I mean, I think it's acid.
[2003.4s] I think it's acid.
[2004.7s] Yeah.
[2006.7s] Moot.
[2008.1s] How many more black dragons are flying around?
[2010.2s] There are four total.
[2012.5s] None have been made unalive yet.
[2015.1s] I mean, they appear unalive.
[2016.7s] They are undead.
[2018.2s] So none have been made more dead.
[2020.3s] Perfect.
[2021.5s] So the two I hit with lightning
[2023.0s] are still kicking around?
[2024.4s] Yes.
[2025.2s] The three that are surrounding are the two
[2027.0s] that hit with lightning and the one that Agath
[2029.1s] was on the back of.
[2030.5s] The one that Flamikinskins was on the back of
[2032.3s] was on a free fall, so it's farther away right now.
[2034.5s] Are the two that I hit before still relatively close
[2036.7s] to one another?
[2037.9s] Yeah, everything's kind of swirling around you.
[2040.1s] So there probably would be a point of which
[2042.7s] if you're trying to hit two at the same time.
[2044.8s] OK, yeah, I will do that.
[2047.3s] And I will cast Synaptic Static.
[2051.3s] Oh, I don't know if we've seen this one before.
[2053.6s] No, I know.
[2054.1s] I don't think I've heard about this one.
[2055.9s] Each creature in a 20-foot radius sphere centered
[2058.7s] on a point must make an intelligence saving throw.
[2062.2s] And otherwise, they're going to take some psychic energy
[2065.1s] damage.
[2065.9s] Because they're undead, they don't
[2067.7s] have the intelligence buffer that they usually have.
[2070.4s] So that's a three and a two.
[2072.7s] OK.
[2074.7s] A creature with an intelligence score of two or lower
[2077.1s] can't be affected by this spell.
[2079.7s] But that's the score, not a roll.
[2081.4s] Oh, yeah.
[2082.2s] But hilarious that you rolled the two.
[2084.1s] No, yeah.
[2085.3s] OK, you're going to take 19 psychic damage.
[2088.9s] And after a failed save, your target
[2091.0s] has muddled thoughts for one minute.
[2093.4s] During that time, it rolls a d6 and subtracts the number
[2096.5s] rolled from all its attack rolls and ability checks,
[2098.8s] as well as its constitution saving throws
[2100.6s] to maintain concentration.
[2102.4s] You can make an intelligence roll at the end of each turn
[2105.4s] to see if you can break free.
[2107.5s] And I rolled an eight on my Wild Magic Surge table,
[2110.7s] Russ.
[2111.5s] Well, the percentage dice.
[2113.1s] Or the d20, not the percentage dice.
[2115.3s] What were we at?
[2116.9s] I think we're about six or seven.
[2118.3s] So it's right about there.
[2120.5s] OK, so we'll say we're at a seven now.
[2125.0s] So if you roll seven next time, you'll get something.
[2133.3s] I've written it down.
[2134.4s] Will it be good?
[2135.0s] Will it be bad?
[2135.6s] Nobody knows.
[2136.6s] Nobody knows.
[2137.2s] That's the joy of Wild Magic.
[2139.0s] Dragon's turns.
[2141.4s] The two that were hit with the synaptic thing
[2147.3s] basically can't do anything.
[2148.5s] Yes, is that what I understood?
[2149.8s] After a failed save, they have muddled thoughts for one minute.
[2152.3s] During that time, you can roll a d6
[2154.1s] and subtract the number rolled from all your attack rolls
[2156.5s] and ability checks.
[2157.2s] So you can still do things.
[2158.3s] It's just penalized.
[2159.2s] One of them is going to do acid breath
[2161.1s] towards Bahamut and crew.
[2164.4s] So everybody needs to make a dexterity saving throw.
[2166.5s] We'll remedy that by subtract six from the saving throw.
[2171.7s] So what was a 22 now is only a 16.
[2179.5s] I am resistant.
[2182.0s] So does that mean I get to roll a second time?
[2184.9s] Resistant means half damage.
[2188.3s] So 13.
[2189.8s] Sorry, everybody with advantage because you're
[2192.2s] in Bahamut's sphere.
[2195.4s] That's 13 again.
[2196.5s] Natural 20.
[2198.0s] OK, 20 is good.
[2199.4s] 23.
[2200.5s] 3 is good.
[2201.3s] 17.
[2202.5s] 17 is also good.
[2204.4s] So Glim and Matamar also grabbed on.
[2209.3s] So Matamar is going to go.
[2210.5s] Matamar doesn't do well.
[2212.6s] So that's 15 d8 acid damage.
[2219.3s] I have a thing where I can use my reaction to not,
[2224.4s] if I succeed on a saving throw,
[2226.3s] I can just not take the half damage.
[2230.8s] So I'm going to do that.
[2232.3s] OK, you're not going to take the half damage.
[2234.5s] So Glim and Matamar are going to take 60 acid damage.
[2241.6s] Oh, I might have a thing for that.
[2243.2s] But I take half because I'm resistant, right?
[2246.2s] And you're going to take half because you're resistant.
[2248.4s] So I take 30.
[2249.4s] Mut's going to take half.
[2251.6s] Sully's going to take half.
[2255.1s] Agatha's going to take nothing.
[2257.2s] Rax is going to take nothing.
[2260.6s] Because Rax is an acid thing, I think, right?
[2263.9s] This isn't like being hit by an attack.
[2266.1s] Yeah, because. Yeah.
[2268.3s] Stupid dragon.
[2269.5s] Cool stuff is for player characters.
[2271.8s] Yeah, that's right.
[2275.0s] OK, that acid breath brings out and everybody's just covered in this.
[2279.2s] It burns your skin and it gets in your eyes and your lungs.
[2284.0s] And even though, Agatha, you don't take any damage,
[2286.2s] you still feel it like this cloud, this plume around you.
[2291.5s] Bahamut surges forward and is like
[2296.3s] sideswiped by another one of these dragons.
[2298.7s] Everybody make a dexterity saving throw.
[2300.9s] I'll get.
[2301.8s] With advantage again?
[2303.2s] With advantage?
[2305.9s] Oh, well, I desperately needed the advantage.
[2307.7s] Twenty.
[2309.9s] Twenty.
[2310.2s] Seventeen.
[2310.8s] Nineteen.
[2311.9s] OK, he's hit hard and you all managed to hold on.
[2316.3s] You see Matamar, who was hit hard by this, get like bumped off.
[2321.0s] He's basically non-reactive at this point.
[2323.7s] He begins falling.
[2325.0s] Bahamut tries to dip down to try and grab him.
[2328.9s] Another one of these dragons comes down from the top
[2331.8s] and goes for a Gotham Glim.
[2338.8s] With an attack, a bite claw.
[2342.6s] So the two bite or one bite is going to go towards Glim.
[2348.5s] That's a 28.
[2351.2s] One bite towards a Goth, a 30.
[2355.3s] And a claw towards Glim.
[2361.8s] That's a 34.
[2366.6s] This wouldn't happen to be the dragon that I marked.
[2369.1s] Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
[2371.3s] Because then it would have disadvantage against Glim.
[2372.6s] Disadvantage on Glim.
[2373.6s] OK, so two more rolls.
[2376.0s] Well, that one is a 21.
[2378.6s] So close, but they will still get me.
[2381.3s] And that one is a 20.
[2384.7s] That, oh, I am 20.
[2386.9s] So it will also get me.
[2388.1s] But just so it doesn't barely.
[2390.9s] So that's going to be 19 piercing damage
[2394.9s] and 15 slashing damage to Glim
[2398.2s] and 19 piercing damage to a Goth.
[2403.6s] I don't like that I have my calculator over here.
[2406.2s] Tally-a-ball is too dangerous.
[2408.7s] Below you, you see this crackling whirlpool of energy.
[2413.6s] You look back and you see the entirety of Mount Celestia
[2417.7s] being overrun.
[2420.7s] And Bahamut calls back and he's like,
[2423.2s] Glim, what did I write in the book?
[2425.7s] The next entry.
[2427.7s] It said not to come to Celestia.
[2431.9s] You see him take this big claw and just scratching it
[2435.8s] hard into the book itself.
[2438.9s] In your book, it's being overwritten again.
[2443.4s] It's just like a deeper cut into the page that you see.
[2446.7s] It was already there.
[2447.7s] And then he slams it shut and begins to dive down
[2453.7s] towards this portal.
[2455.3s] I give you a reaction before he
[2456.7s] does whatever he's going to do.
[2458.7s] I mean, I guess I'm just going to hold on
[2460.6s] because I'm not jumping off.
[2464.7s] I mean, I'm with him in whatever he's doing,
[2467.5s] even though he's been a bit of a doofus.
[2470.4s] So I'm just going to try and have an arm out to maybe
[2475.0s] snag Matamar as we go by.
[2477.1s] Oh, that's a great idea.
[2478.7s] I see a Goth do that and also do the same
[2481.6s] because our poor little buddy is having a hard time.
[2484.6s] I summon my crab claw, Mayshant, to also try it.
[2487.5s] It detaches from my hand and heads over there.
[2491.4s] Bahamut falling in this spiral with these dragons closing
[2494.7s] in quickly on you, crab claws zipping out.
[2499.9s] And you manage to snag Matamar and pull him in
[2504.9s] and hold on to him as you hit this portal.
[2507.6s] And everything behind you, you
[2510.8s] see all of these demons coming up from what you can presume
[2516.8s] is a portal from the abyss.
[2518.9s] You see this, you hear this thunderous echoing laughter
[2523.2s] coming from closer to the mountain.
[2525.8s] And as you hit the portal, Bahamut transforms back
[2530.5s] into himself and is suspended in the portal
[2536.5s] as you all fall through it.
[2539.4s] You see him above as you turn back to look at him.
[2543.0s] And he's pulling the, with all of his power,
[2546.1s] pulling the portal closed behind you.
[2549.1s] Somebody roll me percentile dice, please.
[2550.9s] OK, remind me how these work.
[2552.5s] I have a zero, zero, and an eight.
[2554.4s] Is that 80 or is that eight?
[2556.9s] That's eight.
[2559.6s] Which could be great or terrible.
[2561.4s] You never know with a percentile dice.
[2563.0s] All of the numbers.
[2563.9s] All of the numbers could be great or terrible.
[2567.3s] Colors and light zip past you until all of these images
[2574.5s] of Toriel and of all these fantastical, mystical places
[2578.9s] and of this dark, terrible place.
[2582.5s] And then you land hard.
[2584.5s] All of you.
[2585.9s] The wind is knocked out of you
[2587.4s] and there's this radiating heat around you.
[2590.7s] You're in this dim, red lit cave, it feels like.
[2596.4s] You get up and you look around
[2597.7s] and you see all of your travel companions.
[2599.9s] And Goth, you're huddled close.
[2602.7s] You have Mademar huddled close,
[2604.1s] Rax is off into the side and standing up
[2607.3s] and pawing at the dirt.
[2610.7s] Do we see, sorry, did the portal close above us?
[2615.3s] So we saw him close it above it.
[2619.4s] I will be pumping a quick Spare the Dying
[2621.5s] into Mademar, just in case.
[2623.1s] Sure, yeah.
[2625.4s] What does Spare the Dying look like
[2626.7s] and remind me what it does?
[2628.9s] You touch a living creature that has zero hit points.
[2631.2s] The creature becomes stable.
[2632.3s] The spell has no effect on undead or constructs.
[2635.3s] OK, yeah.
[2635.8s] So I'm assuming since he was.
[2637.2s] You can stabilize him, yeah.
[2640.5s] Yeah, he kind of coughs back to life.
[2643.1s] Does anybody know where we are?
[2645.6s] It's hot.
[2648.4s] I mean, it is so hot in here.
[2653.9s] But I mean, Bahamut must have had a plan that we would.
[2659.9s] What, meet up later?
[2662.7s] I don't know.
[2665.0s] Well, we can't stay here.
[2666.1s] We got to figure out where we are, right?
[2669.6s] Flammikins gets up and starts to stumble off
[2671.8s] towards a cave opening.
[2674.5s] Well, hold on.
[2675.1s] I think we should probably stay together.
[2677.3s] Well, I thought you were going to follow me.
[2679.3s] Wow, it's fucking like leadership.
[2681.7s] Or are you giving off here?
[2683.0s] OK, I'll follow you into a dark cave.
[2685.7s] You all carry forward down this corridor
[2688.9s] and you hear this rumble.
[2691.8s] It's like low growl coming from up ahead.
[2695.5s] That's like resonating the walls.
[2699.1s] And you round a corner into this wide chamber.
[2702.6s] There's this huge throne across the other side.
[2708.3s] And in this chamber, there are
[2710.5s] six chromatic dragons around the outside.
[2714.2s] And in the throne is Tiamat.
[2718.9s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, season two, episode 130,
[2733.5s] starring Amy More as Sully, Carla Maxdead as Glim,
[2736.8s] Tom Laird as Moot, with Kristen Flemmons as Agath,
[2739.9s] and Rust More as your dungeon master.
[2742.0s] Dialogue editing by Newt Shannelcott
[2743.9s] and sound design by Rust More.
[2745.8s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound, Artlist,
[2748.7s] and Kavin MacLeod and sound effects from Epidemic Sound,
[2751.5s] Boom Library, and Sound Ideas.
[2753.9s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[2756.3s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Cat Waterfly,
[2759.4s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
[2762.1s] Erin Stevens, Daryl, Perry Matey,
[2764.9s] L.A. Branton, Kayla Littlejohn,
[2766.7s] Nathaniel Teeter, and Nicholas Cooper.
[2769.1s] Help us reach our next goal of 115 patrons
[2772.2s] where we'll release in-character positive
[2774.5s] affirmations directly to our patrons
[2776.8s] as well as on our TikTok.
[2778.7s] Yeah, we're on TikTok too.
[2780.4s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[2783.6s] and find us on Facebook and Twitter and TikTok.
[2786.5s] Link is in the description.
[2788.4s] Thank you for listening.
[2789.5s] Have a great week.
[2790.5s] We'll talk again soon.
[2792.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.